Holiday from the Husband
Leslie Libona
Word Count 820
Kiss your husband goodbye and look sad.
Immediately throw a tab of detergent willy nilly onto the floor of the dishwasher.
Don’t wait until it is fully loaded, a few dishes will do, a dirty pot as well.
Turn it on and wait for the hum.
Clean the stovetop and know that it will stay pristine, since you won’t use it, the oven either.
Increase the heat to a cozy, tropical temperature.
Decline a lunch invitation because being alone in the house is better.
Walk around in your underwear.
Go to the gourmet supermarket and buy sushi for dinner.
Also get warm French bread and a latte at the cake counter.
Tip the barrister extravagantly.
Come home and don’t worry about tripping on any shoes lying around.
Look in your 10-times magnifying mirror and pluck a rogue hair growing above your lip.
Walk to the bathroom naked and in a leisurely fashion.
Take a hot bath with the door open.
Blow-dry your entire body in front of the full-length mirror.
Clip your toenails while singing along to a tune in your head, something about clouds.
Call your older sister and hum the tune to her.
Find Joni Mitchell’s song on Spotify and play it.
Read the lyrics because now you have a new favorite song.
Clean the medicine cabinet mirror and enjoy the spotlessness.
Set up your laptop and accessories in his office.
Lie on the couch and talk loudly on the phone.
Read your book in bed with all the lights on and not just the Itty Bitty one.
Laugh out loud at the funny parts.
Experiment with different-sounding laughs.
Send your husband an audio clip of your new laugh.
Eat an ice cream while flipping channels.
Before sleeping, put on Sex and the City and leave the TV on all night as you fall in and out of consciousness.
Have your breakfast at the kitchen counter.
Charge the car during the day because you forgot to do it the night before when it was much cheaper.
Throw a load of laundry in, just because.
Go through his clothes and get rid of the ones you don’t like.
Get a massage at the fancy day spa in town.
Take the giant clipper out of the shed and cut back the bush that crowds the walkway.
Go inside and make coffee in the middle of the afternoon.
Bring it to your bed and lie down.
Invite the dog to join you.
Let the dog sleep on his pillow.
Stare mindfully.
Read another chapter.
Play solitaire on your phone while listening to the same book.
Feel your eyes get heavy.
Take a luxurious nap.
Stretch and yawn with lots of noise.
Open a window.
Take cash from the stash in the bookcase.
Instead of going to the produce market on the other side of town for the good prices, buy the better fruits at the local supermarket, including the ones that are out of season.
Eat them the second you get home.
Look at your hair in the mirror and think about washing it.
Go into town and get a blowout.
Get a pedicure, too, and pay extra to make your feet really smooth.
Do nothing.
Take another nap.
Take the dog to the park and meander the wooded trails.
Get home and kick off your shoes and socks as you make your way into the kitchen.
Eat a can of beans and then order in.
Read on the new couch.
Let the dog cuddle with you on the new couch.
Do more of nothing.
Remember that tomorrow you have a doctor’s appointment on the Upper East Side.
Drive to the city instead of taking the train.
Read the sign that says no parking on Thursdays.
Get a $65 ticket because you got the day wrong and thought it was Tuesday.
Lose track of days.
Collapse on the couch because you are exhausted from your trip to the city.
Look at your eyeglasses and decide you need an upgrade.
Buy designer frames instead of the less expensive ones.
Make fast decisions without consulting anyone.
Play records loudly while lying in bed.
Put the dog in his sportscar.
Play the Joni Mitchell song.
Put the top down.
Drive with your hair flying in the wind.
Increase the volume.
Gaze at your beautiful dog as she gazes at you.
Don’t answer the phone when he calls to see if you brought the car to be serviced.
Don’t take the car to be serviced.
Realize you only have one more day with the house to yourself.
Make a reservation at his favorite local restaurant for the night he comes home.
Go to your closet and find a pretty dress to wear.
Kiss your dog and put the pillowcase in the hamper.
Tell your husband you missed him so much and ask him when his next trip will be.
Note the dates on your calendar.
Leslie was featured in the Style section of The New York Times. She is the winner of the creative nonfiction prize at Bar Bar Magazine and has been nominated for Sundress Publications Best of the Net. She has been the Author Spotlight for In A Flash. Her work has been published in various journals and magazines such as Synchronized Chaos, JMWW, Smoky Blue Literary & Arts Magazine, and Welter. https://bebarbar.com/2025-barbes/